| Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 11:19 pm Still Unknown |
|---|
Current Mood:  discontent
Well here I am in Seattle. I still have no idea how we stand. The visit is going fine enough I suppose, haven't really done anything special aside from going to a movie. But neither of us exactly has a whole bunch of money so it's not like we can go out on the town all the time or something. There have been a few tense moments I guess you could say. I gave him a little hell for not caring at all about my car accident, because he didn't... and if he did he sure as hell didn't show it at the time. He says he thought it hadn't been that serious, but I don't care really, even if I had been in a fender bender I would still want him to at least show some concern and ask if I was ok, but he did't even do that.. and I was almost killed. The other issue we had was today. He got home tired from work, which I totally understand, but I needed some stuff from the store to make food tomorrow, plus we needed something for dinner... it's not like there is food here. But he didn't want to go out, so I said he could just let me take the car and go get it. But he said no, like the possibility of me driving his car is a total joke. So I asked him what reservations he has about letting me take his car and he just says "I don't want to talk about it" and that was it. What the hell is that all about. I could have pushed it, and pointed out the fact that I have a flawless driving record, never even been pulled over, let alone gotten a ticket. Granted I was in an accident recently but the other driver was 100% at fault so I don't se how that can have any bearing on anything whatsoever. But I knew there was no point in dragging it out because these things are just useless with him. There has also been this issue of a light fixture that he has been working on. I know that I can fix it, but he wont even let me anywhere near it, despite the fact that he hates that kind of work and has cut himself and ended up just sweaty and angry because he can't fix it. But I'm still not allowed to go anywhere near it. The only thing I can assume is that he is bothered by the fact that I could do it and he can't. I can understand that to an extent, but it's still annoying. I still can't figure out where things stand with us, as far as I can tell he is still seriously thinking about moving to Fargo, ND after all this job stuff is finished. I think he's running away, he's still so angry about things. Maybe I can't deal with that, I don't know. I know that I care about him, but I just don't know if that is enough. Is it all really worth it, or am I finally just so lonely that I'm settling? It's hard to say if I'm settling for him because I really do care about him.. but maybe, eventually I will find someone that I care about as much who also cares about me the same way. |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
teusday's journal
crappy
crushed
hopeful
restless
confused